You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
