I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize