At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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