They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize