I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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