I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
