I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
