Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
