I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize