Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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