They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
