I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
