So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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