i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
