on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
