The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
