i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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