She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
