Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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