You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
