Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
