I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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