i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
