I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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