8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
