Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
