It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Say something about gay babies.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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