Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
did i just pee glitter
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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