I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize