i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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