After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
