is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
