i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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