the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I AM VODKA MAN
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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