what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
