I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
