I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
