Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
