Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
