I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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