I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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