I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
