I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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