are you so shy because you have an std?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
