I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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