i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
There are leaves in my underwear?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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