Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
