Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
