can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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