I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
