I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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