I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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