Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
