peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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