When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
