i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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