he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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