The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
