Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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