are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
