You can't motorboat a personality
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
