look no pants
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
