No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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