I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
