STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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