So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize