I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
