dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
