6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
