i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
