yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize