I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
