Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
